13 reasons why/ my experience 

Finished watching 13 reasons why. It didn’t stop for me in high school. I got “slut shamed” and bullied, shoved under the bus to make someone else look good, by a group of people as an adult. Watching this show and looking back and what these people did as adults made me think of how immature these people are. Here they are doing the same thing high school kids do. It was about 3 or 4 years ago. At the time you feel like your world is crashing. You have no friends that you trust. I still don’t trust anyone. Be careful who you tell your problems too, they either don’t care or they use it against you later on. It was all because of jealousy. Here I am a short fat girl, I can get attention from people without dressing half naked. I have the gift to light up a room. It’s something every family member has. We have a gravitational pull, you just want to be around us. Some people don’t like that about me. I had a grown woman send me a huge message of fb telling me how fat and ugly I was. If I were to lose weight I would still be ugly, cause damn I needed a facial. She went on to say how she felt bad for kids because of who I am as a mother because I told the father of my girls I needed a break and if he could take them for a night.  Now, I don’t take breaks from my girls. There are times I want to rip my hair out. She ended her message with how large of a waste of space I am and that I need to do everyone a favor and pull the trigger. A grown woman said that, telling another woman to kill herself.  They where jealous of who I was and jealous of other attention I was getting.  If I didn’t have my girls, I think my story would have been messier. You have to find something to hold on to. You will find your new crowd that loves you for who you are. In a way, that group broke me. When we were friends one of them would say “stay sweet” because I was. It’s like in vampire movies where they flip off their humanity. That’s me. Any time someone is going through drama, I don’t care and stay out of it. I don’t want to hear it. One of my favorite songs is by kacey musgraves “mind your own biscuits and life will be gravy” it works both ways. You stay out of my business and your life will be gravy, I stay out of your business and life is gravy. I love my life and I love myself. No one can take that from me. If anyone from that group messaged me. I would ask for forgiveness, I would forgive them but I would never be their friend again. Not friends but not enemies either. Find something to anchor you and hold on to it. It gets better. 

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